Even though weddings are beautiful and wonderful events, they sometimes tend to bring out the worst in people. Bridal couples mostly have to deal with the stress of planning and coordinating everything, but due to that, other people tend to either feel left out or else get way too overinvolved.
This is what a bride faced when her mother-in-law disregarded the deadline to send her invites and then bombarded the couple with 60 names just 8 weeks before the wedding. This ended up souring the bride’s entire planning experience to say the least.
More info: Reddit | Update
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The poster had been asking her mom-in-law to send her guest list for the last 10 months, but she ended up waiting until the last moment to send a list of 50 people
The couple only ended up inviting a few people from the lady’s guest list because they didn’t have enough envelopes, so she began hounding them
Besides the invites, she has also constantly griped about the photographer, the venue, the poster’s dress, and their caterer
In an update post, the woman mentioned that she couldn’t send out the extra invites as she had specifically ordered a certain amount of designs from a friend
The bride-to-be also knew her mother-in-law and sister-in-law would cause problems, so she had hired security for the event beforehand
The mom-in-law went behind the couple’s back and sent out different invitations to an additional 60 people, which caused them more logistical stress
Along with the problem of her narcissistic mom-in-law, the woman also had to deal with the death of her grandma, work tension, and planning to move with her partner
The bride-to-be shared that she didn’t feel happy or excited about her upcoming wedding and instead felt exhausted and hurt by her mother-in-law’s behavior
The poster shared that she had been asking her mother-in-law to send in her guest list for many months. Despite always following up about it, the older woman didn’t send the names of the folks she wanted to invite until the last moment. Even though it was completely her fault, she didn’t apologize, but, instead demanded all invites be sent at once.
It might seem weird to think that anyone except the bridal couple can wield so much power and authority during the wedding planning process. Unfortunately, most conflicts during this stage are due to the families and in-laws dealing with emotional insecurities, the transitional stage, and their own expectations.
It seems like the woman’s mom-in-law had very lofty ideas about how their wedding should actually be, which is why she tried to berate all of the plans they had made. Her expectations and that of the couple were at complete odds, but she didn’t seem to realize that they had the final say on how their event should pan out.
According to marriage experts, the couple should talk to all family members about their expectations for how the big day should look. Wedding planning can be a collaborative process as long as everyone is on the same page and boundaries are set. The bride and groom can listen to people’s opinions and also decide if they want to incorporate them into the final plan.
It seems like the mother-in-law’s narcissistic behavior was nothing new for the daughter-in-law to deal with. She had already hired security for the event and made a mental note of how exactly she might cause problems. She knew she couldn’t uninvite them completely because the mom-in-law’s husband was helping them with the wedding funds.
The OP had also mentioned that she felt her in-laws were bulldozing her opinions. That’s why, in such situations, it’s very important to have someone who can advocate for you. Your partner, close family members, or friends can help speak up for your needs so that you have one less thing to worry about before the big day.
Along with all of the stress of the wedding planning, the woman also had to come to terms with the death of her grandma, the increased workload she had, and the fact that she and her partner would have to move. All of this on top of her mother-in-law’s behavior made her feel extremely stressed and unhappy.
It is understandable that everyone wants to help with the wedding planning and share their opinions about how the big event should be. Unfortunately, when such opinions are thrust upon the couple, it ends up just ruining their excitement and sours the entire experience. That’s why, hopefully, the woman was able to find a way to deal with her in-law’s annoying behavior in order to enjoy her day fully.
What do you think would be the best course of action when dealing with such a demanding person?
Folks were shocked by the mother-in-law’s behavior and felt that she needed to be taught a lesson
